Lord, you are a sweet seasoning

It's shopping day and I've waited almost too late in the day for the weather to clear.  The clouds that have been offering dreary, rainy days of winter are slowly making way for a bright sun.  There won't be much time before it makes it's way over to the western horizon, but I enjoy the remnants of the warming rays.

There is a rush of air in my face as the doors slide open in welcome at the grocery store. The sweet aromas from the bakery tantalize my senses, but I turn the other way.

I wander the aisles for the necessary items thinking about how differently I shop now.  The staples of yesterday have been replaced with more nutritional, healthier, bland options.  Am I prolonging the inevitable?

With every choice my spirit falters.  I struggle and fight for my mother's health.  It has begun to drain me.  These choices could have been hers so many years before, why am I subjected to this misery?

"And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." Galatians 6:9

But, I am weary.  I bear the brunt of providing unwelcome provisions to an ungrateful audience.  My work is no longer appreciated or a joy.  It is but a harsh burden on my back and soul.

My feet carry me back to the forbidden display of delectable delights in the bakery. I stare in fascination at the tempting sweets.  As my mouth waters I think, "Might I?"

Then, memories of turmoil and arguing make me turn away once more. My heart is bruised by the reprimands from a daughter to a mother who refuses to accept what is her reality.

This is not the way I imagined it would be.  I am the parent to my parent.

She is supposed to have quiet, laughing talks with me about the joys of life, not arguing with me about the condiments she is no longer allowed to have.

She is supposed to lovingly offer to care for her grandchild, not a grandchild caring for her.  My little boy walks next to her making sure of her step.  He watches for grooves in the walk that might trip her up.  He holds her hand and offers comfort when she is in pain.  It is just a sick twist of fate that he is the giver and she is the taker.

I didn't expect this.  I don't want this.

"Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself." Galatians 6:2-3

With a humble spirit and smile in my heart the purchases are made.  Preparations of meals will be made with love and understanding.  Though they may not be received with thankful heart, the joy in which they have been given will remain.  This is my reality.

"For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting."  Galatians 6:8

"As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith."  Galatians 6:10

I return blessing for blessing.  Every day that You, Lord, have given my mother, I will rejoice.

You are all the sweet, seasoning we need.

{If you or someone you know is fighting the battle with diabetes make changes now.  Don't wait thinking you have time.  It's the little changes you make today that will determine the big changes you will need to accept tomorrow.  Diabetes is a deceptive disease.  It's debilitating effects will slowly rob you of the future God intends to bless you with.}

photo credit: Davide Gabino - StrolicFurlan