A New Chapter is On the Horizon

It's been awhile since I've been on the Internet or visited any of my former blogging buddies.  Connections with previously close friends and family have been drawn taught with inactivity and distance.

My priorities and interests have changed.  Is it bad that my world has shrunk to a small few?  Thoughts and prayers for those I've left behind in my former "busy" world are more general but truly heart-felt.  Finally though my immediate family knows a peace only attainable because of silence?

I've aged and matured in the past 10 years since I wrote my first post about homeshooling,  which has since been deleted due to my vanity in not wanting everyone to read how naive I was.

Soon my son will be a senior, and yes, we are still homeschooling.  This road we embarked upon so many years ago is coming to an end.  In January when I was looking ahead to his final year and the curriculum we would use, a calmness overtook me.  I let out a sigh of relief knowing we were going to make it.

I'm euphoric about a goal being completed.  Also, a sense of freedom for what comes next.

I've struggled and worried.  Tried to plan ahead, and then changed plans when things weren't going well.  I've worked and put in the hours necessary to provide for all his needs.  I've held his hand, bandaged his wounds, been the shoulder he needed to lean on, and listened or waited patiently while he struggled to find the words to tell me his thoughts and feelings.

24/7 my thoughts and actions revolved around a child that God gave me in an act of disobedience.  Even through my bad choice He trusted me with this little one who has grown into a sensitive, protective, loving young man.

Looking back, of course there are things I would and probably should have done differently.  But, I was learning right along with my son.  He saw me learning, he in turn was learning and we both have come out of this experience loving and respecting each other.  What more could I ask for?

Now it's his turn to live and learn on his own two feet. 

He's already started making choices and decisions about life after highschool.  My role as "teacher" will never end, but it will be more of a retired, secondary one.  It will be pleasant to just be mom again.

Which opens a whole new door to life for me.  The caretaker door closed more than two years ago with the passing of my mother.  Now I'm ready to focus more on my needs.

This is the springtime of life.  The rain comes, washes the old away.  Tomorrow the sun will shine and new experiences just over the horizon will reveal themselves in the glorious light.  Life is looking really good from the porch swing I'm a sittin' on.